


Heading towards oblivion

by stargazinggirl773



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, not rly set anytime during series, post breakup
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 23:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13600713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargazinggirl773/pseuds/stargazinggirl773
Summary: A collection of one-shots, most featuring Magnus and Alec, but also other pairings in the mortal instruments book series.





	Heading towards oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> im taking a break from writing chapters, cause I figure im better at short one shots... I guess I'll find out and see how this goes.  
> don't read if you're affected by suicide. this chapter is featuring Alec and Simon, but others will focus on more popular pairings  
> (basically this is gonna be where I write up all of the idea strands I get in my head, so don't be frustrated if many won't have satisfactory endings, cause these are one-shots, and I'm a fan of cliff hangers, also I suck at endings and following thru w stuff

“No, let go of me! I said let go of me!” Simon screamed, accidently knocking an empty glass against the wall of the infirmary where it shattered and cascaded in a twinkling, jagged waterfall to the floor.

Jace, Alec and Magnus were struggling to hold him down, the tendons in theirs arms visible against taut skin above the strength of a fledgling. Simon was only a few months old, and violent, suicidal tendencies were common in young vampires.  

Streaks of red dripped down his pale face, beneath the bulky framed glasses he continuously insisted upon wearing.

“Simon, _please_ ” Clary begged, her voice watery, as she and Isabelle stood a little to the side.  The dark haired shadowhunter had her arms wrapped tightly around herself, jaw tight, frozen.

After a particularly violent jerk, Simon managed to fling an arm out, whipping the blonde shadowhunter’s head to the side.  Jace’s golden eyes flashed and he growled: “Hey Magnus, a little help here?”

Together, the three boys managed to effectively restrain vampire against the thin, lumpy bed of the New York institute, lit only through several witch light sources in the wall.  The gloomy, ominous atmosphere was fitting.  

Simon sobbed as Magnus shoved his frail but strong shoulders down, blue flames visible, while Alec pinned his arms against his sides and Jace clamped strong hands against the vampire’s legs.

“Get off of me!” Simon hissed, row upon row of silver fangs gleaming, while he twisted on top of the rumpled sheets. His body was as tense as a bow string.

Sensing the he was about to lose his grip yet again, which would contribute to even more debris on the floor of the room, Jace called out again: “Magnus!”

“I heard you the first time, shadowhunter.” the tall warlock gritted out, voice strained under exertion.  It had been centuries since he had been forced to deal with a newly turned vampire: Raphael.  “However, but magic is almost depleted-” he grunted as Simon twisted forcefully. “And I’d rather reserve some of it to save our lives.”

It was true: Magnus was clearly fighting to keep his eyes open due to his exhaustion, and the coloured fire emitting from his caramel hands wasn’t as bright as it normally was.  

Most of the gashes on Simon forearms, wrists, and even thighs were closed, with thin blue sparks fluttering around them, but several of the deeper cuts running through the veins of his underarm were bleeding profusely, soaking the mattress below.  In only a small matter of time, Simon would bleed out: his skin greying and fracturing, like the cracks in cement, and revival was difficult.  That was besides the fact that many of the shadowhunter were already sporting wounds, and their blood mixed with that of the vampire’s on the bed.

Clary’s sobs could be heard distantly beyond another one of Simon’s rageful howls, and this time he dredged enough power to partly raise his upper body from the bed and ragged the edges of his teeth across Magnus’ skin, who hissed in pain.

At that moment, something blazed in Alec’s eyes, a mixture of protectiveness, anger, frustration and determination.  In a hurried movement, the tall, messy haired shadowhunter released Simon’s forearms while quickly pushing Magnus out of the way, back from the bed.  

Before Simon do anything other than sitting up in his newfound freedom, snarling, Alec pushed up the sleeves of his grey sweat shirt, stained with blood at the sleeves.  He tore off the leather wristbands that he always wore in a blur of movement, his speed a symbol of his heavenly ancestry-if one didn’t observe the way that his porcelain skin glowed- and shoved out his arms toward the vampire, palms upturned.  Then, with another hand, he reached out and held the side of Simon’s head, his thumb grazing the boy’s jaw.  

Shocked at a display of an action other than violence or restraint, Simon went silent and looked at what Alec was trying to show him, still tense.  

Unlike Simon’s wounds, most of which had unnaturally healed thanks to the warlock, the thin scars on Alec’s wrists ran parallel to his leanly muscled arm, a faint pink ridge in comparison to the expanse of white, until it stopped about halfway up his forearm.  

“I know what you’re feeling, okay? Alright? I get it.” Alec spoke lowly, but his voice could be heard clearly in the now dead silent room, “But it’s gonna pass, trust me. This feeling you have?, it won’t last forever.”  He breathed out shakily, cerulean eyes intent on the vampire’s face, purposefully ignorant of the stares he felt.  “It’ll feel like it’s taking over your life, like it’s all you’ll ever be able to feel... But if you fight it, and you let us help you, I promise that it’ll be gone...You’ll get past this.”

Alec’s hand shifted down to Simon’s shoulder, enveloped in a ratty brown ACDC shirt, and he squeezed gently but encouragingly, letting his other arm fall back down onto the mattress.  Simon didn’t break eye contact, and his fangs gradually started to retract as he slumped over, a fresh stream of blood making its way down his cheeks. The shadowhunter let his hand slip off, then he turned to look at the warlock standing still off to the side, and tilted his head toward Simon.  

Understanding that Simon had stopped fighting, Jace slowly let go of his legs, while Magnus jolted himself out of his stupor, walking back to the bedside, staring wide eyed at Alec.  

Alec remains by Simon as the last of his cuts were closed off, in a combination of flame and spark, sliding back on his wristbands and pulling down his sleeves, after which his shoulders slumped fractionally and he could finally breathe in again.  

“I’m- I’m sorry” Simon whispered to Isabelle, who then rushed to his sde to most likely squeeze him to death, her curtain of silky black hair creating a sort of shield around the two.  No threat of death by blood loss then.

Jace was motionless at the foot of the bed, staring off somewhere into the distance, white knuckled around its frame, which Alec chose to disregard as he decided that it was as good a time as any to leave the residences to themselves. He would try and deal with him later, when he couldn't feel the sadness and guilt from his parabatai rune as strongly.

His footsteps were muted as he walked through the hallway leading to the elevator, eager to get away from this cold place, filled with many painful memories of encounters with demons.

“Alec!” a voice called out.

He should have expected it really, and wasn’t all that surprised, but it didn’t stop his heart from pumping faster.  Reluctantly halting his motion, Alec turned around, cerulean eyes determinedly blank.

Magnus strode towards him, but then stopped a distance away, unsure of how to proceed.

The shadowhunter grinned mirthfully, looking past him and back to the door leading to the infirmary.

“I… I’m… I didn’t know, I’m sorry-” Magnus began.

Alec’s eyes flicked back to his former lover: “You couldn’t have known.  Just forget about it.” he said, starting to turn back.  

“Forget about it!” Magnus exclaimed angrily, his cat like eyes incredulous. “You tried to kill yourself, how am I supposed to-”

“ It was a long time ago, okay? I don’t know and I don't care if you can’t forget, it’s not my problem- I’m not your problem anymore, remember?  We broke up.” he shot back.

The warlock took a step forward. “That doesn’t matter-”

“Yes it does.  It means that you don’t have the right to be in my life.” He tried to calm himself down- “ I don’t need to tell you anything anymore… guess now you’ll know what that feels like.”- and failed.

Then he turned and walked away, his blood hot.

The feel of a long and sturdy bow, and the glide of an arrow’s shaft between his fingers was calling to him, but he pushed it aside and wondered if Arthur’s offer would still be open, fingering his phone out of his back pocket.

**Author's Note:**

> did u like it? once again, there is no real ending 4 this, cause this is just where my random ideas go  
> let me know what u guys think :)


End file.
